Fans of Bloons will probably enjoy this lovely little game. It won’t give you that strange orgasmic balloon-popping feeling, but the music is so relaxing you may find yourself singing Con Te Partiro to your desk lamp, and I’m not going to lie to you, there might even be some tears.

One sure-fire way to produce a hit game is to take two classic games and merge them into one. But if you want your new game to be extra awesome, then you also need to incorporate pooping. For poop makes everything better - it’s a scientific fact.

Don’t ask me how to play because I didn’t bother reading the instructions either. Just make your own pixel monster, press some buttons, and at some point take a screenshot so you can show him off to the rest of us. My guy over there is modelled off of me in that he is very skilled at smashing things but at the same time not nearly as good-looking.

Don’t turn your back on this one. It may look straight forward, but it will mess with your head. It wants to break your mojo. It will insult your mother. It’s got the hots for your sister. It will steal your dog and rename him ‘Douche’. It has no respect for you or your silly three dimensions. You’ve been warned!

Look, I take a lot of heat for hating on Japanese culture but honestly it’s got nothing to do with hate. It’s more of a friendly curiousity fueled by some sort of instinctual need to protect myself. Just play this game for more than a minute and if you can still remember how to say your own name afterwards I’ll admit that I’m wrong. (PS: I got to level CRAZY)

If you’re having trouble getting the hang of this one, try pretending that the forcefield is actually my rock hard abs, and that the missiles are the fists of super-villains. A more realistic situation like that is probably easier to relate to than all the spaceship mumbo-jumbo.

One step up on the neo-retro evolutionary scale from Dot Action 2!, comes the pixelriffic Gamma Bros. A story of two brothers and… I’m not sure actually, seeing as there’s no story. Let’s just say they’re looking for their lost parents. Space parents. And there’s an evil villain. Probably a giant space cat.

Take off your shirt and whip out your glow-sticks, cause it’s car racing time - clubbin’ style. WARNING: It has been statistically proven by a famous scientist (me) that if you do not finish this game in the one minute alloted to you, crazy euro ravers will burst into your room and break all your furniture and maybe kill your cat.

It is a time of great magic and chivalry. You are an über D&D nerd, sitting behind a… oh wait, I mean you are a brave knight, defending your kingdom from the onslaught of the enemy hordes. Your skills with myspace pages are… oh damn, I mean your skills with the bow-and-arrow are legendary. Go forth and defend your kingdom, brave knight!

It was almost a year ago today. I had just downed my last bottle of ‘88 Grand Vin de Leoville. I stripped down to my underwear, openned a family size tub of Skippy, and spent the rest of the evening getting friendly with a sassy little flash game by the name of Stickman Madness. Ahhhhh… the memories.

It fires the potion at the hordes, it does this whenever it’s told. It fires the potion at the hordes or else it gets the hose again. Now it places the potion in the basket…

Okay, everyone all together now:

NNNNNNNNNNnnn… BRAINNNNNNNnnns…

Pop open the bubbly, it’s time to celebrate! Fans of Boxhead: More Rooms are sure to enjoy ‘2Play’, the next installment in the box zombie series. And if you’re lucky enough to have a friend sitting beside you, or perhaps a conjoined twin, then you can also enjoy the new co-op and deathmatch modes!

Wake up everyone! It’s time to get your squishy lazy brains back into shape with a soothing math game. I know that ‘math’ and ’soothing’ don’t exactly sound exciting, but if you don’t do well at this game those blue circles will literally crawl out of the screen and eat your face. I’m not kidding!

Folks, get ready to do some arrow key smashin’ and swear-word cussin’, because these rude little SOBs do not want to let you through. By the way, Pushies is another great recommendation from our Forum Fruitcakes. If you’ve got a Dig Your Own Grave account you can jump right in and have your say too!

This puzzle, like the Jumping Frogs, can only be solved by super geniuses, kids under the age of 14, or people who know how to use Google. So if you’re not in any of those three categories you better not click that link or it will be the last thing you do. UPDATE: before you go insane, read the comments for the ’solution’.

If you’ve ever wondered how a computer virus attacks a network, this game is actually a 100% accurate simulation of how it is done. Although in real life the ice cannons are not quite as poweful, and the flamethrower has a slightly wider attack angle but with less range.

Luminara is the by-product of Ellipsis and the classic arcade game Asteroids getting together and making sweet, sweet, videogame love. And it’s not gross, it’s a perfectly natural way for two videogames to show that they love each other.

Ask yourself, are you ready for The MindScape? Do you have a beanbag chair? Sit in it. Do you have friends? Forget them. Alcohol? Consume it. Pants? Remove them.

Now you are ready.

Here’s another game with hypnotically soothing music. But don’t be fooled! It’s only purpose is to mask the sound of the tendons in your wrist crying out in pain.

Use the ‘SCORE’ value for highscores.