That’s right folks. It’s time for another Dig Your Own Grave exclusive game. I know! It’s totally crazy. We’re pooping these things out like we just ate them for breakfast. This game features some old-skool 3D vector graphics, and a pace so fast that we can actually 100% guarantee you’ll have a stroke. Enjoy!

You are infamous Indestructotank pilot Dirk Danger. Included among your many missions for the day is no less than rescuing the President of the United States from kidnappers. But more important things first, let’s stop by City Hall and get that name changed!

This game is pretty gross, but hey, what’s Halloween without a little blood and body parts? Why, it would be like having Christmas without snow! (and blood and body parts.)

Look, I don’t want to scare any of you out there, but zombies are coming to eat your brains, and soon. Like tomorrow. Probably around 3pm. We’re planning on grabbing some Taco Bell first, so we may be a little late. Excuse me, they might be a little late. Heh.

Halloween is coming, and I for one am so excited that every time I think about it I pee in my pants a little bit. To help set the mood, let’s start the week off with some decapitations!

The Scales of Justice need balancing. Unfortunately this game has nothing to do with that. But hey, funky music! Boop boop boop boop boop beep boo-dee-dooo…

Finally a point-and-click adventure that doesn’t involve a supercomputer to calculate the solution by clicking every permutation of every pixel on the screen in every conceivable order just to pass the first level. Plus, it’s getting close to Halloween and this game is frightfully delicious (and magically nutritious).

I like things with simple self-explanatory titles. Strategy Defense. It just says it all. Strategy, and defense. It’s like my name. Handsome Webmaster. Handsome Wicked-Smart Webmaster, if you count my middle name.

After seeing today’s game, you may find yourself asking, “How many Bloons games is too many Bloons games?”. However, the sophisticated among us will stick to more important questions like “should I not have eaten that?”, or “say, do you mind if I put that down my pants?”, and my personal favorite, “can I speak to my lawyer now?”

Ancient Russian texts translate the word “Eskiv” to mean “The Circle - bringer of death, slayer of cats, and occasional dog rapist”. This game is a little lot like Dodge, but with a shot of taurine added, plus an ever so soothing aquamarine background.

Just look at all those sad faces. Thankfully it’s not an Elliott Smith concert, it’s just the new hit game Blocky! Now it’s up to your to free all those frowns or who knows what they’ll do. Thank goodness they don’t have arms…

This is a 2D version of Valve Software’s innovative game Portal. The goal of the game is to use the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device to complete a series of increasingly difficult room puzzles, all so that you can eat some delicious cake and listen to the crazy Portal song until you throw-up.

Looks like someone’s farted in the pool again, and it’s up to you to collect all those stinky bubbles before they reach the surface and distribute their noxious fumes.

The rules of the game are simple enough. Destroy everything in your path in the virtual world, all while destroying your ENTER key in the real world. Make sweet love to the wind, and poop out some tornado babies.

Today’s game is brought to you by the colors red, green, and blue. And by the letter M. And by plasma weapons.

Physics + Balls = Edutainment.

Science has proven that even a Proboscis Monkey can spot the differences between these sets of pictures. You’re smarter than a crazy penis-nosed monkey, aren’t you?

In honor o’ this most excellent seafarin’ hearty game, all comments must be port in official seafarin’ hearty speak. Ya lily livered scurvy dog!

If I were a brilliant electrical engineer, I… wait a minute, let me start over… Being one of the world’s most brilliant electrical engineers, I find it silly that people like building robots for fighting. Robots should be created for much more noble purposes, like medical procedures or washing my car.

Some people say that violent video games are a bad influence on our children, but I say we should just shoot those people to make them shut up. Try to break the logic in that statement my friends. It’s a little something I like to call absolute brilliance.