Games

The first thing my dad taught me was to defend my nuts – right before he signed me up for illegal preschool cage fighting tournaments. I don’t blame the man, he had to support his Pokémon TCG addiction.

Maybe instead of running around searching for gifts to give to this girl, he should just save some time and cut out pieces of his heart with a butter knife and then bleed out in front of her. It works for me.

This game steams like a hot pile of poop on your neighbor’s porch on a crisp November morning. What, this British guy who just moved in next door told me I look chipper. That’s an insult, right?

Every once and a while as a form of stress relief I like to head down to the mall and engage in something I call Pantsblitz Zero. If you want to try it, the exact rules aren’t that important, just remember to wear underwear that day and don’t stop yelling PANTSBLITZ until the cops arrive. At that point just focus on running.

What do you suppose the little dude is running from? When I look into his eyes I feel like he is actually deeply unhappy, and the game is a metaphor for running from the growing responsibilities of supporting a family in a troubled economy. Either that or it’s a giant spider.

Just like this game, I went through an experimental phase earlier in my life. Considering the fact that I didn’t have the internet at the time, I blame it all on the Buffalo Bill dance.

I was involved in some rubble trouble in New York one time myself, except it had nothing to do with destroying buildings. It was more about topless mud wrestling and cock fights. Figure it out for yourself.

This is the game that will finally make your brain pack up its bags and take a midnight train to anywhere. In five years expect an autobiography documenting tales of horrendous abuse and neglect.

Admin: That first zombie game I posted this week was a decoy – Husky used up all his accumulated poop, and now he’s just farting blanks. HA!

Angry Husky: What, I’m not crying from rage and despair. Something fell in my eye.

I once had a bad case of gap monsters, but it got solved when I started using Preparation H.

I had a dream waking up at a place like this once: the raven was there, the creepy singing puppet, and the skeletons. Then I went to a science fair and half way through my presentation I realized I forgot to wear pants.
Oh wait, none of that was actually a dream.

My squad is not tiny, I WAS IN THE POOL!!

Admin: This is the first zombie game in months, and trust me- it has nothing to do with a lack of zombie games out there. I was just trying to protect my new crocs.

Angry Husky: This is the first poop I’m gonna take in months, and trust me- it has nothing to do with the frequency of my bowel movements. I was just holding it in.

There’s an old saying that an infinite number of monkeys pooping an infinite amount of poop will eventually have enough poop to build a giant poop monkey statue bigger than the universe. Or something like that.