Games

Coincidentally, “Ninja Bear” is also my nickname at the Blue Oyster Bar. I got the name after winning first place in a mechanical bull riding tournament. Don’t ask.

I too am on a Defender’s Quest. Specifically a quest to defend my right to view movies at the local cinema in a pantsless fashion. Viva La Revolution!

Yesterday you learned how to hack, and today you can compare the size of duckweed to the size of the Homunculus Nebula. And if you were wondering where my genitals fit on this scale, they’re somewhere between Sirius A and the Aldebaran star.

Want to know how to hack? This game will provide you with step by step instructions to turn you into an elite hacker, capable of performing major hacking feats like burning through the NCIS public firewall.

For fans of Flash games, this is a work of art. For fans of Rock Band, this might be a bit like an Xbox 360 package with a sweater inside.

I used to have a snow tail but it fell off during my personal evolution. Apparently now I have to learn how to ski all over again.

I too have a mission in space today. That is of course assuming you can consider the area under my kitchen table as a “space”, and also assuming that quietly weeping counts as a “mission”.

I knew this game was going to make me laugh as soon as it allowed me to spit on tiny flying cube babies while it was loading. It’s probably one of the most common indicators of a humorous game.

Big half-naked men with shaved chests and a pet furry. Nope, not gay at all.

And for the third time
the blue elephant
unlocks the doors of destiny
and greets the winter of his existence

I’m not sure what this one is about. I don’t know much about yoga and I have no idea what a chakra is, but as I general rule I don’t allow anything that requires charging to go near my genital regions.

Can’t write much today folks, my pet ocelot Sir Lancelot chased another hooker up into the attic.

If robot moms are anything like human moms, this little guy must be hearing a lot of stuff like ‘You’ll shoot your eye out’, ‘You’d forget your head if it wasn’t attached to your body’, and the most important one: ‘Wear your good underwear in case you get in an accident’.

My grandfather always told me that the secret to happy life is just to let your soul glow, just let it shine through.