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Games

G-switch 3
categories: Games

My search for that elusive G-switch is still fruitless. I’m starting to think I’m doing something wrong. Maybe actually getting a woman to participate would help. Maybe.

Frog Fable
categories: Games

Wowza, this was a Thanksgiving weekend to remember. Without going into any details, it ended with my uncle Morton being dragged into a police car wearing only a confederate flag, dangling his privates around and yelling something along the lines of “protest against this giant pipeline, you damn liberal hippies!”.

Happy Thankseating, Fatties!
categories: Games

That’s right, you read that correctly. You’re all fat, and by that I mean you are engorged with joie de vivre and love for your family and friends. Oh, and you’re also morbidly obese. Happy Thanksgiving!

Plantera
categories: Games

It’s Thanksgiving week, fruitcakes! Time to eat until buttons on your pants fly off and murder someone. Oh, and it’s also time to be thankful. I’m thankful for Costco and the sweatpants I buy there so I don’t murder anyone with buttons. Amen.

Dashy Reaper
categories: Games

When grim reaper finally comes to collect my soul, he better be dashy. No one wants some dude looking like Russel Brand to take him on his final journey to afterlife.

House
categories: Games

I hate to disappoint you, but no one in this game has a lupus. Also, has anyone moved to Canada yet? My bags are packed, but I’m waiting for Whoopi Goldberg to go first and let me know how that worked out for her.

Epic Cluck
categories: Games

I had the honor of hearing an epic cluck once in my lifetime when the hen laid an egg a size of a coconut. So basically she clucked epically and then died from internal injuries.

Grow Cinderella
categories: Games

If I wanted Cinderella to grow I would just feed her Krispy Kreme donut and Olive Garden breadstick casserole. It sure worked for me.

Haunt The House
categories: Games

Happy Halloween, fruitcakes! Every year I ask you what is your costume gonna be, and rarely I get any answers-what’s up with that? If you’re shy you can send me a private message with a photo attached*.
*Only if you’re a female between ages of 21-39, and your costume is nothing that relates to cheese in any way. Don’t ask.

Graveyard Maniacs
categories: Games

I was in a band called Graveyard Maniacs a long time ago. Not so much of a band since we didn’t have any instruments, more of a group. Not so much of a group, more just me. And I wasn’t really a maniac, more of an exhibitionist that exposed genitals on funerals.

Five Fights At Freddy’s
categories: Games

Let the creepy pre-Halloween week begin! Speaking of such things, is it creepy when a guy asks a girl can she sell him her worn sport socks? I think it’s fine.
It’s me, I’m the guy.

Medieval Shorts 2
categories: Games, HTML5

I gotta say, my medieval short shorts are lady killers when I wear them in the summer. Literally, I gave some old lady a heart attack this past July when I got on the bus wearing those.

Stacko Level Pack
categories: Games

These level pack versions of games are like my weekly fridge cleanups: I collect all my takeout leftovers, put them in a giant baking dish, cover it in discounted Costco cheese and call it Italian-Chinese-Indian-Greek fusion casserole.

String Theory
categories: Games, HTML5

I know what you think: Admin is such a brilliant man, he must know everything there is to know about the string theory and related phenomena. I have to disappoint you once again, and say that only string theory I am familiar with is the one that says if you eat a lot of spaghetti your poop will soon look like something a dung beetle is rolling around.