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Games

Duke Dashington
categories: Games

Ah yes, finally a game about a fellow gentlemen and a scholar such as myself. I shall visit my stables and pick out my best stallion to gift to whoever developed this game. Huzzah!

Tough Love Machine
categories: Games

I can tell you a tale of tough love if you have some time. It involves myself, an ant farm, a space heater, and two apricot Yankee Candles. Dammit I loved those ants.

Ruffian!
categories: Games

Is it just me, or is “Ruffian” the perfect name for a badly behaved dog? Right? Because he’s a ruffian. And he ruffs. HA!

Newton’s Law
categories: Games

Let me tell you, for every action there is indubitably a corresponding reaction. Apparently it’s not acceptable to tell a pretty woman on a subway that her giant lady cushions are making you feel funny in your bathing suit area.

BLOCnog
categories: Games

You may or may not have noticed I didn’t write anything for Friday’s post. That was because I suffered a minor stroke which left me with the ability to read minds of insects and mollusks. Unfortunately, I recovered quickly- now my only superpower is being able to bite my toenails with immaculate precision.

Space Flash Arena 2
categories: Games
Bouncy And Monsto
categories: Games

I don’t even know what to say about these game titles anymore, it seems like the whole developer community had some sort of massive stroke.

The Platform
categories: Games

The Platform sounds like one of those Japanese horror movies where the first half an hour is a Disney family movie, followed by two hours of people wearing belts made out their friend’s bowels and vomiting giant larvae. Also, it’s raining all the time.

Hero Simulator
categories: Games

I don’t need a stinkin’ hero simulator- I’m my own hero. Just this morning I talked a pigeon out of committing suicide. It’s hard to find the reasons to continue living when you’re so stupid and useless. I should know.

Indefinite
categories: Games

You know what seems indefinite at this point? This week, and it’s only Monday. Ah well, time to get up and start working-this Michael Jackson paraphernalia is not gonna dust and shine itself.

Payphone Mania
categories: Games

I haven’t used a payphone since 1992 when I was arrested for harassing Blockbuster employees by constantly phoning them to ask If I can talk to Ivana Tinkle.

10 Gnomes in Montaigut-le-Blanc
categories: Games

I don’t know about you, but I can properly read about 40% of this post title. Sacré bleu!

UFO Blackstorm Shield
categories: Games

Another hump day + pantsless Wednesday, another indecent exposure fine. Bring it on!

Nambers
categories: Games

Ermahgerd, nambers!