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Games

The Gatekeeper
categories: Games

When I was a teenager my mom made me wear underwear called The Gatekeepers, and to this day it’s not quite clear was her intent to prevent stuff from coming out or going in.

Coloruid
categories: Games

I enjoy putting up games that make colorblind people cry in the corner while they relive the emotional collapse they had when they were 9 and found out they couldn’t be pilots.

Escape The Car HD
categories: Games

Learning how to efficiently escape a moving vehicle is a useful skill when you hitchhike as much as I do. Every now and then you run into someone who wants to take you home, make you dinner, and worship your toes. I do have unusually beautiful toes (and I wear flipflops year-round), but it’s still creepy.

Deep Underground
categories: Games

With the weekend ahead, I’d like to remind you not to drink and drive, text and drive, masturbate and drive, and drive and drive. In fact, it would be better if we all just stayed in and not operate giant metal murder weapons.*
*I may or may not have developed a severe motorphobia in the past few days.

Quotidian
categories: Games

I started playing this game, and then stopped when it told me to open the Outlook. What am I, a 65 year old lady learning how to use computer in some senior class? Yes, I do knit, and yes- I do use the phrase “that’s nice, honey”, but I draw the line at Outlook.

Tempala
categories: Games

Sorry the post is so fashionably late today, but I had a doctor appointment. I went to remove the wart that is growing on my right cheek for 7 years now, but the doctor told me at this point it would actually be easier to remove my head.

RePixel
categories: Games

I wish I could repixel my face so my lips are finally bigger than my eyes, and my nose is not directly by my right ear. But that’s just a pipe dream.

The Splitting: Chapter 1
categories: Games

This is a large game (like your mom), so please allow it to load a bit before you burst into your usual boo-hoos about games that don’t load, links that don’t work, and small penises. Actually, this last one may or may not be my boo-hoo.

Instantaneous Combustion Syndrome 2
categories: Games

Apparently, it’s something you can get from eating at Chipotle in Oregon nowadays. But you didn’t hear that from me.

Puppy Stew
categories: Games

Ah yes, delicious puppy stew. I didn’t have one since my last visit to Korea, and now I’m craving one. Not the pug puppy stew, those are disgusting- but schnauzer puppy one is delish!

Super Dangerous Dungeons
categories: Games

The dungeons I frequent didn’t used to be dangerous until I decided to change my safe word into my lucky number. Let me tell you, when your lucky number is 777,777 and dungeon is in small town Germany, saying Siebenhundertsiebenundsiebzigtausendsiebenhundertsiebenundsiebzig can make a difference between life and death.

Imperil
categories: Games

Imperil sounds like that drug I should be taking but I don’t. Or is it the one I shouldn’t be taking but I do? It doesn’t really matter though. Squirrel!

Transgression
categories: Games

I plan to commit many transgressions this weekend. First one was uploading this post 5 hours later than usual, and I plan to go as far as eating an unwashed apple and going swimming immediately after the meal. I’m a wild beast, I tell ya!

Isolated Subject
categories: Games

I have a lot of personal experience on how to be an isolated subject, so feel free to ask me anything.