RSS Icon

Games

Klocki
categories: Games, HTML5

This game is like an abusive girlfriend: at first she’s all cool and laid back, and makes you feel like you’re special and intelligent. But soon enough she insults you repeatedly, laughs in your face and says her ex’s both penis and wallet were thicker. *sobs*

One Shot Exterminator
categories: Games

I found a guy that advertised himself as “one shot exterminator” to get rid of the roaches from my apartment, but apparently the small print says the “one shot” is applicable only to insects that are not the size of an IKEA coffee table and speaking fluent English.

Oodlegobs
categories: Games

Think of this game as the poor man’s version of Pokemon GO, except it has nothing to do with Pokemon. Just like the “exceptional K” cereal your mom was feeding you had nothing to do with cereal (and were slightly toxic). Or those “Niko” sneakers you got for your birthday had nothing to with sneakers (and were slightly toxic).

Shop Empire Underground
categories: Games

Once humanity switches to underground habitation, I will automatically be fully adapted. And they say residing in your mom’s basement doesn’t prepare you for real life. HA!

hitBox
categories: Games

I spent the whole weekend trying to download Pokemon GO on my Motorola RAZR. After calling numerous helplines I found out that me and a 94 year old lady from Tuscaloosa, AL are the only two people that use that phone and are not involved in a drug related business.

Heroes In Super Action Adventure
categories: Games

If Admin posts a game and no one comments on it, did he really post it? Or is this a fragment of a holographic reality that a higher consciousness made? We’ll never know.

Mr. Timan
categories: Games

I have often fantasized that there is a red button which you press and murder all of your coworkers at once. My therapist suggested that’s somewhat sociopathic, so I had to switch to fantasizing about meeker prospects of pressing that button. Like my coworkers getting genital leprosy.

Nambers Level Pack
categories: Games

Emergerd, nambers lvl packh!

Fractured 4
categories: Games

This game is almost as fractured as my ability to post its sequels properly.

Enchanted Heroes
categories: Games, HTML5

Believe it or not, I was a hero yesterday. I stopped a group of Danish tourists from eating at Chipotle. You’re welcome.

Temple Of Boom!
categories: Games

Coincidentally, this is same name I use for my toilet. Exclamation mark and all.

Apocashop
categories: Games, HTML5

Let me tell you about my weekend- it was full of accomplishments and excitement. I had a poop that ranked “normal” according to Bristol stool chart, which means I can go back to my hot pockets exclusive diet. Hooray!

Clicker Troops
categories: Games

It’s Friday, you cakes of a fruity persuasion! Don’t forget to buy your dad a Father’s Day card for Sunday, or he’ll send a singing telegram dude to your office to sing you a song about a kind, generous man who is afflicted by horrible ungrateful children.

Color Move
categories: Games

Last time I posted a game where “color” is spelled without U, I got a call from the Canadian prime minister warning me about the consequences of my actions on bilateral relationship between the countries. I didn’t take it seriously, and now you can expect an armed conflict between us and our northern neighbors. Also, and by far the worse consequence, I got a lifetime ban from Tim Horton’s.