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Games

Specter Knight
categories: Games

Is it Friday already? Honestly I stopped keeping track on Tuesday. What’s the point in looking forward to the weekend when your back waxing appointment was cancelled with no option to rebook? No beach for me :(

Oni Yu Can Scare Them
categories: Games

Yu goni play dis gayme and yu goni luv it.

Through
categories: Games

If you’ve heard of the saying “the only way out is through”, you should know this actually does not apply in all situations. And in particular I’m referring to trying to get out of the gym by going through the women’s changing rooms. This is neither effective nor appropriate.

Hyper Tunnel
categories: Games

Admins Log, Stardate 20150825: Today’s game… Hyper Tunnel. Torn on joke theme… should I mention a hyper tunnel in my pants? Or will the intended sexual reference be misunderstood for a reference to explosive diarrhea? Ultimately the risk is too great… turning back…

Los Angeles Shark
categories: Games

I am extremely disappointed, mostly because I expected I’ll be devouring at least one Kardashian during the course of the game. Heck, I’d be happy with a Jenner. Or Kanye West.

Kill The Plumber 2
categories: Games

Well if a game title tells you to kill the plumber, you should probably kill the plumber. It’s the only logical thing to do.

Invasion
categories: Games

The only invasion I’ve witnessed recently is an invasion of privacy. And yes, I’m talking about the Ashley Madison hack. If we can’t feel safe on a for-profit social network catering to people seeking adulterous affairs, then where are we as a society really?

Avoid
categories: Games

I probably should have listened when the pharmacist said to avoid mixing my irritable bowel medication with alcohol. Washing my first dose down with a peach Buzzball resulted a large period of lost time except for a brief memory of kissing a guinea pig. And that’s super strange because I don’t own a guinea pig.

Jump Out! The Box
categories: Games

For those wondering, “jumping out the box” is the exact same thing as coming out of the closest, except it also involves confetti, fireworks, and a drag queen lip-syncing Cher’s “Believe”.

Tainted Olive: Chapter 2
categories: Games

Once I ran to you, now I’ll run from you. This tainted olive you’ve given, I give you all a boy could give you. Take my cheese platter and that’s not nearly all!

Ayo The Hero
categories: Games

Well, all I have to say is that we don’t need another hero. Seriously dude, we don’t need to know the way home. FYI, all we want is life beyond the thunderdome. It’s not very complicated.

Cube Escape: Case 23
categories: Games

I was never able to escape the cube in any of these games, but I have successfully escaped the slavery of working in a cubicle. Now I’m a free spirit, living by my own rules, eating only the finest organic artesian foods I find in the dumpster behind Trader Joe’s.

Immense Army
categories: Games

I may not have an immense army, but I do have something immense on my body. If you guessed “giant sebaceous cyst behind my ear”, you are correct! Ladies, my inbox is wide open and waiting.

Inversia
categories: Games

I was rushed to an ER as a teenager and diagnosed with a severe case of genital inversia. It took years of therapy before I was able to look at a vacuum cleaner and not shriek and sob uncontrollably.