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Games

Hexallin
categories: Games

Hexallin you say? Sounds like a drug I used to take for my nervous tick which was basically walking only in a shape of a hexagon. Getting to a grocery store a block away took me about 6 hours.

Purbalds
categories: Games

Sounds like that movie I watched about seventeen times over this weekend- Pure Balds. And before you deem me a pervert once again, it’s a documentary about people with alopecia aerata. Which I use to masturbate.

S.T.A.N.D.
categories: Games

I’m a member of a group whose acronym is S.T.A.N.D. Now, I don’t know what this game is about- but I’ll be shocked if it has anything to do with Single Tawny Androgen Nonessential Douches.

Iridescent
categories: Games

I once went to a doctor because both my poop and pee were iridescent, but it turns out you’re not supposed to drink Skittles and Gatorade smoothies for every meal two weeks straight. Go figure.

This Is Amazing
categories: Games

I hate to be a negative Nancy, but it’s really not that amazing.

The Earl Octopusor
categories: Games

If I had 8 limbs like octopus does, I would probably use it to touch every inch of my body inappropriately.

Zenge: Starborn
categories: Games

I was born to be a star, but I strayed somewhere along the way and ended up being a piece of detritus that got farted out of a black hole.

Maze Eye
categories: Games

It’s Monday again- a day when some of us resume our job responsibilities after a short weekend break, and continue being useful and productive members of society. Not me, but some of us surely.

Jumphobia
categories: Games

Jumphobia you say? I’m pretty sure I don’t have that one, but I have an array of others: babysealophobia, mormonophobia, and last but not least- StanleyTucciphobia.

Cube Escape: Theatre
categories: Games

This game reminded me of the Shining, so now I have to put my laptop in a freezer for a couple of days. REDRUM.

Absorbed 2
categories: Games

I spent this weekend absorbed into Netflix and googling my high school friends until I found one that was less successful than I am. Overall, a very productive couple of days.

Tower Of Destiny
categories: Games

Happy Friday, fruitcakes! Some of us are gonna hit bars today, and some of us are gonna eat bars. Some of us are gonna hit on hot chicks, and some of us are gonna eat a hot chick-a-fil sandwich. Some of us are gonna build a tower of destiny, and some of us are gonna build a tower of density.

The Case of Scary Shadows
categories: Games

I apologize for my absence the last couple of days. The reason is very simple: I was not feeling well. If someone tells you something different, like for example that I was arrested for asking people on the public transit to check out my rash and then ripped my pants off, don’t believe them.

Another Pretentious Game
categories: Games

This pretentious game is so pretentious that it thinks it impacted your life in such an Earth-shattering way you needed a two year break before the next sequel. Another pretentious game is circling around you on her unicycle and demanding you start boycotting Nestlé right this instant.