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Games

Slimey’s Quest
categories: Games

Disappointingly enough, this game is not about a pimp from some industrial small town in England. But I’ll get over it, because it’s Friday- and I love Fridays. It’s the day I go to the park to yell obscenities at happy couples.

Thermo
categories: Games

Speaking of thermo- it’s getting chilly here, I better get some warm undergarments. I usually go to ASPCA, adopt two dozen kittens, and attach them velcro style to my abundant body hair.

The Way the Gingerbread Cookie Crumbles
categories: Games

The main character in this game looks like such a turdblossom that I found myself fanatsizing he comes back to the living room without those darn cookies, and his friends simply murder him.

Rogue Legend
categories: Games

Is it just me, or has there been a lot of games lately containing the word ‘rogue’ in it? Has rouge gone mainstream as of late, or has the mainstream gone rogue? Will the warts on my feet continue to rapidly multiply? These are all the burning questions of today.

Slydrs
categories: Games

I can only assume this game is all about those delicious little hamburgers, and as such I nom-inate it for Best Flash Game of 2014. Anyone who has a problem with that can schedule a meeting through my mom secretary.

Epic Time Pirates
categories: Games

In light of the fact spelling errors seem to be a sure fire way to get comments, I will from now on be hiding a spelling and/or grammatical error in each post. Think of it as a game within your game. Your welcome!

Empty Kingdom
categories: Games

I once wrote a power ballad on my ukelele called ‘Empty Kingdom’. You might be thinking it was about my heart, but it was actually about my digestive tract after having breakfast 3 days in a row at Troy’s Spicy Szechuan MSG Shack.

Caravaneer 2
categories: Games

Where is “Caraveneer 1″ you ask? I would tell you, but then I’d have to kill you. I would kill you, but then I’d have to leave my apartment. I would leave my apartment, but then I’d have to put on some pantaloons. So I definitely won’t be killing anyone today- it’s Wednesday, for Pete’s sake.

City Siege 3: Jungle Siege FUBAR Pack
categories: Games

I don’t even know what this title means. I tried to read it a few times, but it felt like the letters were raping my eyes with their tiny letter penises.

Stachmou and the Golden Compass
categories: Games

This game is so french it cooked me a crepe, rolled its eyes at me and called me an “inculte porcine”, then waved a white flag and ran away- all in the matter of 60 seconds.

Raze 3
categories: Games

You raze me up, so I can something on mountains;
You raze me up to walk on something something;
I am strong when I am on your shoulders;
You raze me up to something something.

Jelly Lam
categories: Games

Jelly Lam, Jelly Lam, does whatever a Jelly Lam does. Can he swing from a thread? Yes he can, he’s Jelly Lam. Oh yeah! There goes the Jelly Laaaaam.

Nekra Psaria 2
categories: Games

Ah, Wednesday: the day when the pants come off and the weird comes on.

I Was On The Throne
categories: Games

The most important decisions and the most brilliant ideas in my life were forged while I was sitting on my ceramic throne. There is something cathartic about dangling your private area over a bowl of water.