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Games

Tetramino’s Revenge
categories: Games

In Soviet Russia tetris plays you. It snaps your bones and bends your joints in directions they should never be bent, in order to fit you into a rush hour Moscow subway train.

Fathom
categories: Games

Personally, I cannot fathom the world without inflatable gimp suits. It’s not because I have some weird sexual fetish, it’s more about how it feels on my skin and how happy it makes me in my bathing suit area. Yeah, it’s a fetish.

Sideomorph
categories: Games

I can relate to this game, as I also spend most of my time inside various boxes and digging through trash in search of treasure. Just yesterday I found an only slightly used breast pump- not sure what I’ll use it for, but I’m sure I can attach it somewhere on my body.

Earn to Die 2: Exodus
categories: Games

Angry Husky: How do you do fellow kids? Admin couldn’t make it today, he is stuck cleaning all the memorable Memorial Day nuggets I left for him.

Give Up 2
categories: Games

I almost gave up, but then I decided to write the post anyways.

Hipstar
categories: Games

I used to be a hipster before it was popular. Now that it’s popular, I’m in a search of an alternate movement which will still allow me to keep my beard and suspenders.

Primal Champions
categories: Games

The only thing I’m a primal champion of is clogging the toilets in various households, and ruining relationships with other human beings. The two may or may not be related.
Spoiler alert:It’s related.

Cube Escape: Seasons
categories: Games

I don’t know what season it is where you are, but where I am it’s currently the season of “gallons of water are gushing out of my miserable swollen red eyes and nose”.

Working Stiffs
categories: Games

Ah yes, the good old working stiffs. I used to get them all the time at my previous job, so now I have a lifetime ban on working in animal shelters.

Colour Blind
categories: Games

Hear ye, hear ye! Today’s game is specifically dedicated to our retinally challenged friend cynnicysm. As you enjoy your color-filled weekend, think of this poor man and his misfortune.

SARCO: Episode 1
categories: Games

This is a big game. Almost as big as my genitals. Please give it some time to load before you grab your torches and pitchforks and gather in front of my clay hut mansion.

Crayon Poke
categories: Games

Incidentally, more than one female has described sexual experience with me using the words “crayon poke”. That’s a compliment, right?

Down Is Up
categories: Games

If down is up, then technically my pants are always up. So we’re good, right? If not, you best be prepared to throw down homie.

Mr. Splibox 2
categories: Games

I refuse to call any flash game character by the title “mister”, like I don’t have enough of that in real life. Mr. policeman, Mr. parole officer, Mr. sex registry administrator… and the list goes on.