Games

Have you ever fantasized about punching a horse-sized duck? How about getting into a manly brawl with a hundred hamster-sized hippos? No? Well then, I’m sorry but I’m not sure we can be friends.

… :) … :D … \:D/

:P

So they’re letting snails into space now? And to think I was rejected just because I have a chronic diarrhea condition. Honestly, what’s the worst that could happen?

Speaking of losing fluids, brb.

Pretentious Game 2 is even more pretentious then Pretentious Game 1. It will constantly correct your pronunciation of the word ‘encyclopedia’ and quote Dante’s Inferno loudly in coffee shops. Pretentious Game 2 is pretty much the Ted Mosby of Flash games.

Ah rock bottom, my old friend. One cannot truly say they’ve hit rock bottom until they taste the cold stones of its sandy shores. A taste not unlike… *licking noises*… failure. Damp, mossy, failure.

Making this monkey happy is pretty hard, but not as hard as making my Aunt Nettie happy. I went through two battery packs on my sander before her foot bunions were flattened down to acceptable levels.

Save a bunch of ungrateful kids and grannies who probably won’t put out even though you saved their lives in this highly polished HTML5 game (for desktop only).

From the creators of my pants, comes an epic journey through time, space, and dark alleys filled with monsters but not rapist monsters, and still lots of shooting and oohs and aahs, and possibly a monkey.

Fear less… easy for you to say. I watched all of the Paranormal Activity movies over the weekend and my phobia list now includes fear of videocameras (demon tractor beams, obviously), fear of wind (ghosts, obviously), and fear of socks (eyeless tube monsters, obviously).

Did I post this game because I thought it was good, or because I’ll jump on any excuse to post a link to the Michael Bolton Pirates of the Caribbean song? I’ll never tell! *hee hee*

Dwarves? Really, so that’s how it’s going to be. What’s next? Are your favourite dwarves going to cash some colourful cheques in your neighbourhood? Get your bastardized language off my website you dirty Canadians.

You know those games with misleading titles? Well this is definitely not one of them. It also features a song that will remain etched in your memory long after you’ve forgotten how to chew due to advanced Alzheimer’s and multiple strokes.

The only mystery about my IQ is where can we fit all these extra digits. Get it? Because I’m so smart. *high five*