This guy was damned if he did, and damned if he didn’t, but in retrospect, reversing and destroying the crossing guard barrier would have been the better choice.

“That’s gotta hurt!”

(Warning: A little gross.)

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why patience is a virtue.

Todo List:
Kidnap Mormon and use him as a sex slave.
Sell house, and use proceeds to clone puppies for $50,000.
Do something even more crazy.

You’ve seen her freak out about rainbows in a sprinkler, and now you can see the rest of her absolutely insane videos on her YouTube account. Did you know that the government has aimed a directed energy weapon at her house that causes it to vibrate?

This video has been making the rounds on the Internet lately, purportedly as the worst fight scene ever, but I think we know the truth.

So it turns out those Amazonian fish mentioned in movies that swim up penises… yeah, they’re for real.

Ah, so that’s what they mean by ‘Low Clearance’.

“Mom! Dad! Check out my new tattoo!”

Why have your name etched on to the back of your iPod nano, when you can use those very same lasers to have an image of a robot burned into your skin? It’s the new hotness.

Adam Warwick, a biologist with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, dove into the Gulf of Mexico to rescue a drowning bear, which had been earlier shot by a tranquilizer dart.

If you want to try surfing, but are afraid of the rampant localism, and anything to do with the ocean, then this surf cam video is for you.

Six-year-old Indian boy, Aniket Chindak, holds the unofficial world record for limbo-skating and can skate along at no more than eight inches above the ground.

For those of you playing along at home, you’ll want to remember not to slow down and stop as you travel over the railroad crossing.

Or at least a cat that looks dead.

If you’ve got a thirst for thrill rides even more dangerous than those manned by travelling carnies, head on down to Indiana and give Joph Ivers’ backyard coaster a try.

Nothing says Little Red Riding Hood like forest creatures with pendulous bosoms.

Modern Toilet is a chain of scatological-themed restaurants in Taiwan, where the patrons sit on toilets and eat off of covered sinks and bathtubs.

I think John McCain has his finger on the pulse of the nation.

Power companies prefer not to shut off high-tension electrical lines just for maintenance, so instead they round up homeless people from the streets of New York and get them to work on the live lines in exchange for a bag of bagels and a thimbleful of scotch.