Did you get an Amazon gift certificate for Christmas? Not sure what to use it for? Now your very own facial deformities and terrorist weapons are only a one-click purchase away.

Argyria is a rare condition that turns a person’s skin bluish-gray. It’s caused by ingesting silver dust, which some people believe gives them magical medical powers. In reality, it turns them in to something Gargamel wants to eat.

If you can’t bring the snow to the city, use an escalator.

Damn, I need to get one of these for my driveway.

All you need is a magical leather fanny-pack, and you too can do the Hamster Dance.

I’ve never understood the compulsion to voluntarily hurl oneself off of tall things, like the 61-story Macau Tower in China. Maybe these people feel like they have too many clean pants.

This is the touching story of a morose young man who eventually comes to appreciate just how much the rain enriches his life.

Cows, tired of being mutilated, are fighting back against their alien overlords. The fate of the planet is in their hooves.

I don’t pretend to be an expert on Japanese culture, but as I understand it, before a man can ask a woman’s hand in marriage he must become a ninth level Ninja Warrior. These trials of strength are broadcast on television and the losers are thrown into a tank of whales.

Apparently this video was created for Alfa Romeo, but I don’t understand it. Maybe their cars are slow.

Breathing exercises are important for keeping your lungs in tip-top shape (not true), and this is the best breathing exercise I’ve ever seen. Nothing that makes a person look like this could be useless, right?

Shortly after this footage was taken, the MacGuffin family was pecked to death in their car by the same swarm of starlings.

Chinese factory owners would never want to endanger their employees’ safety, which is why they use incredibly life-like (and helmetless) robots to work inside 6-ton metal presses.

She’s got a blanket, clothes, and four pacifiers!

A Condition 1 weather warning is issued in McMurdo, Antarctica when one of the following conditions is occurring or imminent: 1) Sustained wind speed greater than 55 knots, 2) Wind chill temperature colder than -100°F (-73°C), or 3) Visibility less than 100 feet.

From what I can tell based on this commercial, if you don’t watch weatherman Gary England, you will die. And your children will die. Their bodies will be ripped apart by the twirling fury of God.

Ah, the American college experience. Do students behave like this in other countries?

You’ll probably run face first in to a massive spider web, become entangled, and then get devoured alive by mutant spiders. This is especially likely if your woods are in Lake Tawakoni State Park in Texas. The spiders there, clearly not wanting to be outdone by the giant tent caterpillar nest, have created a spider web stretching over 200 yards.

I’m not even sure how to describe this one. It combines the classic song Unchained Melody by the Everly Brothers with standing motionless on a rotating platform, and somehow manages to come up with a game that would actually make me excited to go to a casino.

I generally make it a point not to argue with giant stone heads that vomit guns out of their mouths, but I think Zardoz may be a little off the mark here.