I hope that despite corporate America’s attempt to swindle us out of the joy of Easter, that you have all had a great holiday weekend none the less. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, watch this video and see what those Cadbury bastards have done to our Easter Creme Eggs. Way to make baby Jesus cry Cadbury!

Over in France they’ve succeeded in getting a train to travel as fast as a modern airliner, while the speed of our trains over here in North America suggests we’ve regressed from powering them with coal, to powering them with excrement. Yes, the fireman stokes the engine by shovelling in cow manure.

You know, I always said that the one thing Doom was missing was a stereotypical Italian plumber… That and mushrooms. Lots of mushrooms. Magic mushrooms.

Well, maybe I’m not. But quadruple the speed of this thing, shrink it down, and attach some kind of gunpowder propelled hook to it, and I will be!

If you didn’t buy your girlfriend a USB powered stripper dancing around a pole novelty item for Valentine’s Day, then I’m afraid you’re going to be without a girlfriend before this day is out. It’s just common sense people!

Morning traffic really is a chore. I was thinking of buying a Toyota Prius so that I can drive in the carpool lane, but perhaps the AARDVARK will be a little more effective for those busy early morning commutes…

Now you too can learn the secret of the Japanese magic. Ohhhhhh. Ahhhhhh.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is why you don’t go in to the ocean.

I’ve already shown you that octopuses are masters of disguise, but did you know they are also master escape artists? Clearly no jail could ever hold them. Unless it had solid walls. Yeah, that’d do the trick.

Midterm elections take place in the United States tomorrow, and I thought those of you who will be voting might be interested to know just how easy it is to compromise the fancy new electronic voting machine you are likely to be using. None of the four major suppliers of e-voting systems seem to have even a basic understanding of software security.

I have always been an ardent supporter of the increase in rapidly moving images in our daily lives. I won’t be happy until the logos on everybody’s shirts are spinning and changing colors, and the sidewalks are littered with epileptics. To that end, Philips has created Lumalive, light emitting diodes that can be woven in to fabric.

RuBot II, a robotic engineering marvel, can solve a Rubik’s Cube in less than 50 seconds. It can also haunt you in your worst nightmares, possibly transform into a gun, and perform lead roles in 70′s era episodes of Dr. Who.

This is a lot like Line Rider, but academic and unavailable to the general populace. If I had this though, I would spend days jumping rudimentary cars over things! Imagine if they had a teaching tool like this when you were in school.

The Carver is a motorcycle-car hybrid which can lean in to turns and, from the looks of this video, is a blast to drive. If you have money to burn and want to buy one, check out the Carver website.