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The Essay
categories: Games

when i was talking to my dearest cousin one day he admitted he had a huge fear of hippopotamuses especially albino ones which made me wanna take him to the zoo and force him to make friends with david the albino hippopotamus who is just about the friendliest hippopotamus that ever walked the earth but he replied that would be too much for him and kicked me in the

DigYourOwnGrave High Scores:
Gold Medal 1. Nekketsu 206,265
Silver Medal 2. SlayerML 147,122
Bronze Medal 3. Pod 140,820
4. Trevdogmillionaire 138,293
5. Antenna_Head 123,245
6. sophiasaboteur 117,140
7. Deftonze 114,094
8. Iceman06 111,561
9. PastaPirate 109,549
10. mitchaayy 108,956
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24 Littlegrey Comments:

24 Avatar
February 27th, 2011 at 10:21 am Administrator says:

The scores are showing up in the leaderboard as milliseconds. So a score of 200,000 is 200 seconds.

23 Avatar
February 27th, 2011 at 6:05 am Nekketsu says:

The game is kinda picky. Sometimes I have to type letters like 4 times for it to register >.<
Or maybe I just need to change my keyboard batteries =P

22 Avatar
February 27th, 2011 at 4:37 am sophiasaboteur says:

Too bad this doesn't work on my laptop, I'd break the top three. :|

21 Avatar
February 27th, 2011 at 1:45 am Andylink says:

I don't understand the scoring system. Mine does it in time yet these are all in thousands. There is no way someone is typing for over ten minutes if that's the case.

20 Avatar
February 25th, 2011 at 8:36 pm failedassassin says:

WOOT third place with only two finger typing!!! This is an excellent story, I want to read it on its own. It also helps me practice my speed and accuracy. Feed it to your children!

19 Avatar
February 25th, 2011 at 7:59 pm choralsinger says:

Gosh darn it. I get to the bluebeard part and lose it. how do i submit my score btw?

18 Avatar
February 25th, 2011 at 7:31 pm Banana! says:

I'm ranked 11 of the highscores... ._.''... is that good or bad? :O

17 Avatar
February 25th, 2011 at 2:59 pm The Gamer From Hell says:

How Antenna_Head, HOW!

16 Avatar
February 25th, 2011 at 7:50 am pndrgn2 says:

4 seconds behind 3rd place :(

February 25th, 2011 at 3:40 am Bored2Death says:

Omg XD there is such and easy way to cheat on this game haha!!!

14 Avatar
February 24th, 2011 at 11:11 pm BANANA. says:

I know how to touch type, but after a few minutes I just gave up. Too much fingering for me. :D

13 Avatar
February 24th, 2011 at 8:51 pm Sam Dude says:

gah, a sucky laptop keyboard does not help with this game ¬_¬

12 Avatar
February 24th, 2011 at 8:05 pm legor17 says:

Okay, the non-obvious spaces are tripping me up, and my arms are tired. It definitely didn't help that the mouse pointer on my laptop keeps getting in the way.

11 Avatar
February 24th, 2011 at 7:47 pm legor17 says:

Yep, the no punctuation thing really tripped me up at first. The other thing I don't like is that the text disappears as you type it. I prefer to have the text be static as I type.

10 Avatar
February 24th, 2011 at 7:36 pm thepara says:

Geez, what kills me about this one is that you don't need to type the punctuation.

So I end up making multiple typing errors because I'm trying to type everything I see. I end up typing 2-3 words ahead only to find out that I wasn't advancing anything. grrr

9 Avatar
February 24th, 2011 at 6:25 pm J. Woher says:

Sure looks like it :P.

8 Avatar
February 24th, 2011 at 6:19 pm Antenna_Head says:

My score proves that no typists have yet played this game.

7 Avatar
February 24th, 2011 at 6:10 pm CouchDestroyer says:

I fail. I couldn't get past the first screen of text before I threw my arms up in disapointment at my clear lack of inability. :(

6 Avatar
February 24th, 2011 at 5:50 pm J. Woher says:

im afraid that when i go to deep in this game i will type like this when im typing some important report for school and also that im to will become afraid of hippopotamus :P

February 24th, 2011 at 3:16 pm cynnicysm says:

maybe my wireless keyboard makes it a little slower to respond, but when i tried to type at my normal speed it would constantly miss the last letter of a word and i'd have to press the key like 4 times before it would register, other than's pretty fun, i guess...i'd rather play a pipe maze game. thanks penny arcade.

4 Avatar
February 24th, 2011 at 2:06 pm Guardian of Nowhere says:

If only I could type while looking at the friggin' text...but somehow I never got around to learning touch typing.

3 Avatar
February 24th, 2011 at 2:01 pm TopMonkey says:

Great...I ask for a game where we kill things and blow things up and this is what I get...

2 Avatar
February 24th, 2011 at 1:59 pm The Gamer From Hell says:

Damn, and i thought i typed fast!

1 Avatar
February 24th, 2011 at 1:19 pm Aku12 says:

this game is really hard but i love it i can pretend to work while playing it YAY!

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