Have you ever fantasized about punching a horse-sized duck? How about getting into a manly brawl with a hundred hamster-sized hippos? No? Well then, I’m sorry but I’m not sure we can be friends.

I hope there’s no people walking around who are like 90% worm.

… :) … :D … \:D/

:P

For when your trip to the water park involves just enough alcohol and not quite enough death.

So they’re letting snails into space now? And to think I was rejected just because I have a chronic diarrhea condition. Honestly, what’s the worst that could happen?

Isn’t Calm About It

Speaking of losing fluids, brb.

Canadian Astronaut Chris Hadfield covers the classic David Bowie song from the International Space Station, and the result is really beautiful.

Pretentious Game 2 is even more pretentious then Pretentious Game 1. It will constantly correct your pronunciation of the word ‘encyclopedia’ and quote Dante’s Inferno loudly in coffee shops. Pretentious Game 2 is pretty much the Ted Mosby of Flash games.

Possibly to kill it.

Ah rock bottom, my old friend. One cannot truly say they’ve hit rock bottom until they taste the cold stones of its sandy shores. A taste not unlike… *licking noises*… failure. Damp, mossy, failure.

Disco must be the most talkative budgie in the world.

Making this monkey happy is pretty hard, but not as hard as making my Aunt Nettie happy. I went through two battery packs on my sander before her foot bunions were flattened down to acceptable levels.

Makes you wonder what would happen if they put a Thudershirt on this kitten.